keep my big mouth shut...

When am I gonna learn that whenever I say anything nice about him, sure enough, he screws it up? Larry and I had a huge fight this evening over my daughter. Ever since Chaney was 2 weeks old, she's been with my sister. For those of you who don't know, I was 16 when I had her. I was still a kid myself. My family stepped in, let me keep being a kid, and I took full advantage of that. Well, Chaney's 11 now, and she still lives with my sister. That's how it's always been. Well, Larry has a major problem with this. And it all blew up tonight. First he said he couldn't understand how I could continue to let her live there...but then said he understands that I'm trying to make the situation best for everyone involved. Confusing? Uhhh...yeah. And if he understands, he sure as hell doesn't act like it. That's how it's always been. That's the life and the home Chaney knows. In my line of work, I know what a messed-up childhood can do to a person in adulthood...I'm trying not to mess hers up any more than it ALREADY is, but he doesn't get that. Just uproot her for the 375th time...she'll be fine. I tried that, remember? She spent the better part of 6 months absolutely miserable and crying all the time. He doesn't understand, and I have no idea how to help him understand. And what happens if he can't accept things the way they are?

the best days of my life...

You know, I've gotten horrible about posting. But really, I don't have anything to bitch about anymore, so I guess I don't think I have a reason. Everything is going really really well for me. Granted, I still want to change careers, but I've learned to just shut up and be thankful I have a job, for the most part. And it's one that doesn't take me away from my family and doesn't require a great deal of my time. That's a definite plus.

Life with Larry is great. I can't imagine it being anyone else. There were some rough times at first, and I know there'll be other moments throughout this whole thing, but one thing I've realized is that whatever bad we do go through, it's nowhere near bad enough to outweigh all the good, and nowhere near enough to walk away and leave it behind. I would've never thought it of him, but he is exactly everything I've looked for. He holds me while I sleep...although sometimes he sleeps RIGHT ON TOP OF ME (he says it's because he has to always be touching me). He leaves little Post-Its on the bathroom mirror for me in the morning letting me know he loves me. He calls me during the day to see how I'm doing and tell me he loves me.

I found the guy who will completely, absolutely sweep me off my feet and just take off running with me and never look back. I found someone who'll stick around when the going gets tough and not get scared and take off running...and the guy who sticks around when the going gets good too, not go off looking for 'excitement' because things are getting a little too comfortable and he's bored...you know what I mean. I have someone who's faithful, honest, dependable. I know he'll lead me down the beach with his hand over my eyes just so I can feel the sand beneath my feet. He wants to wake me up at dawn, because he's just bursting to talk to me and can't wait another minute, just to find out what I'll say. He's promised to polish my toes for me and bring me chicken soup when I'm sick. I found someone to laugh with, play with, cry with, raise babies with, and grow old with. I'm his last thought of the night and his first thought in the morning. But most of all, I know I'm HIS and that HE'S MINE. And that's all I could ever possibly hope for...I'm the absolute luckiest person in the world to have finally found what I've been dreaming of.

Yeah, I guess I'm done gushing...for now. I'll be back. :-P

The best days of my life
are the ones I spend with you