Wednesday, December 13, 2006

just when you need it most...

I've been feeling overwhelmed and frustrated about my new job lately, due to all the chaos at this place with the high turnover rate and people coming and going. Nobody seems to know what it is they should be doing, so they try to put it off on someone else...which is usually the social services person...AKA ME. I've only been there about a month and a half! I don't know what I'm doing either! I don't need to have any more of the "I don't know" until I can counterbalance it with the "I do know"! Well, I left work early today due to feeling like CRAP, both physically and mentally. To give you a better idea, I've only been there a month and a half, and I'm already wanting to hit the door running. Very badly.
Sometimes God knows just what you need.
I got home, stopping to check the mailbox before coming in the house. There was a card from a lady whose husband died at the facility not long after I started. I'd spent a decent amount of time with her, trying to help her somewhat remotely prepare for the inevitable, although everyone knows you can't ever possibly prepare for that. I also attended her husband's wake when that time came. I felt an attachment to her, for whatever reason. Who knows. But in that mail today was a card from this lady, thanking me for my help and caring and for being there for her through that time. And with tears in my eyes I realized, this is why I do what I do. It's not for the glory, it's not for the fame, and it's certainly not for the money. Like I put in my grad school entrance essay, I have no delusions of saving the world. I just want to help one person, one person at a time. And I made good on that. I'm not throwing in the towel just yet. Not today, anyway. While this job is largely thankless and unappreciated, when those moments do come, it makes them so much better.