Fire in the hole

Let me start this post by saying WOW. I just noticed that this makes the 2nd post in the same month! I'm doing GREAT. The reason behind this post is the fact that I just noticed something totally absurd in my kitchen. Have you ever read those emails with stupid warning labels? Yeah, I found one of my very own. I don't usually pay attention to detail, being so wrapped up in my own little world, so this would've come up long ago if only I paid attention. But, better late than never, huh?

I was standing in my kitchen earlier doing something with the microwave. My guess is I was nuking something, but I honestly couldn't tell you. Sometimes I just stand there and pretend to look busy, I think. Who knows. Annnnyway, I noticed a box of chewy Atomic Fireballs sitting on top of the microwave that I've had for literally months. At least 3, I'd say. Well, until this moment I never noticed the warning label. And I swear to you, if the puppy hadn't chewed up my battery charger cable for my camera, I'd take a picture just to prove it. Don't ask me to do it with my cell phone; I have no freaking clue how to use that alien piece of crap. But that's another tangent. I caught, out of the corner of my eye, and bright yellow triangle-shaped warning label at the bottom of this box. It says, and I swear to you: Caution: Extreme Heat! Oh, and there's a pretty little campfire looking graphic too.

Hmmmm...do you see where I'm going with this? I have 2 thoughts. The first is, they're not really THAT hot. The second is, ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME? They're called ATOMIC FIREBALLS. Not...Icy Melons. The name itself implies heat of some degree. I want to know who the idiot is who bought these and was like, 'daaaaaaaaaaang, these are freaking HOT!' 'Cause you know that same damn dumb idiot probably brought a lawsuit against this company for that very reason, prompting this warning label. Because that's the jacked up country we live in these days.

So, the moral of the story, in case you didn't know: ATOMIC FIREBALLS ARE HOT.