It's Been Awhile...
I didn't know I hadn't blogged since February! But what's the point, when you have no life anymore? I mean, it's a serious case of SSDD. I've been thinking a lot lately, though, doing a lot of introspection and taking a lot of walks down good ole' memory lane. The main thing that keeps haunting me is this: after all the miles and years and (poetically) smiles and tears...I'm right back where I started. I don't know if anybody out there understands this, but to me, especially with this town, is amazingly disappointing. Even though I KNOW I have, and I have the pictures to prove that I have, it makes me feel like I've done nothing with my life. I haven't had a job in over a year now, but not for lack of trying. For those of you who don't know anything about where I live, let me put it to you this way. This town is taking its last gasps of breath as it sloooooooooooowly dies, taking everyone with it. Once, this town was booming. But then the coal companies went belly-up and that was that. Now, there's nothing here but a little movie store, Dollar General, Rite Aid, Foodland, and 3 little gas stations. I've ALWAYS wondered why we need 3, but then I remember hell, there used to be FOUR! Oh wait, and I'm forgetting the Dairy Queen, C&S Restaurant, and the 3 BARS. Hmmm...3 bars, 3 gas stations. If that doesn't promote drinking and driving, I don't know what does. Still don't get it? Ok, here's the clincher: I'm 25 miles from Wal-Mart, and over an hour away from the nearest mall. NOW do you understand?!?! Thought so.
I've also been thinking a lot about the people who've been in my life. Some are still in my life. Most aren't. Of course, it's the ones who aren't who stay on your mind more than the ones who are. Isn't it funny that things seem such a big deal at the time, but when you're sitting at your computer years down the road, you can't remember whatever happened to end it? I'm not just talking about romantic relationships, but all relationships. I know everyone can't always stay in your life. However in the world would you be able to fit them all in and have time for all of them? But every once in awhile, there's someone who once meant the world to you, and who still does, but isn't in your life anymore, and you don't have a clue as to why or what exactly happened. I guess it all boils down to time and distance. And I'm extremely thankful to have had each and every person in my past in my life at all, for however long they were here. Every single person that has blown across my life has shaped me and changed me in some way. I am who I am because of them. I just hope they remember me as I remember them and I hope they know how much they meant to my life.
This is SO not where I was going to go with this, but evidently my heart had other plans. I just read what I typed and thought about erasing it all, but then I decided to just leave it and let it be. I go into a daze sometimes when I'm blogging, and don't even really realize what I'm writing until after the fact. Kind of a free association type thing. This is one of those times. So, there you have it. Have at it.
I've also been thinking a lot about the people who've been in my life. Some are still in my life. Most aren't. Of course, it's the ones who aren't who stay on your mind more than the ones who are. Isn't it funny that things seem such a big deal at the time, but when you're sitting at your computer years down the road, you can't remember whatever happened to end it? I'm not just talking about romantic relationships, but all relationships. I know everyone can't always stay in your life. However in the world would you be able to fit them all in and have time for all of them? But every once in awhile, there's someone who once meant the world to you, and who still does, but isn't in your life anymore, and you don't have a clue as to why or what exactly happened. I guess it all boils down to time and distance. And I'm extremely thankful to have had each and every person in my past in my life at all, for however long they were here. Every single person that has blown across my life has shaped me and changed me in some way. I am who I am because of them. I just hope they remember me as I remember them and I hope they know how much they meant to my life.
This is SO not where I was going to go with this, but evidently my heart had other plans. I just read what I typed and thought about erasing it all, but then I decided to just leave it and let it be. I go into a daze sometimes when I'm blogging, and don't even really realize what I'm writing until after the fact. Kind of a free association type thing. This is one of those times. So, there you have it. Have at it.
posted by ~kiley at
1:34 AM
1 Comments
