no place like home...

...thank God for that, because I can't even stand this place. If everywhere else was like it too, i'd go crazy.
This is a ranting blog, because I have to get this off my chest. It was on my mind when I went to sleep last night, and again when I got up today. I finally heard the "are you pregnant" question. Ok, well, not ME exactly, but someone asked Larry yesterday. And this infuriates me for several reasons:

1. If I WAS, it's none of your freaking business, but thanks for asking. When that does happen, I'll be sure to let you know, since you're so concerned with my life.

2. This person sees me almost every stupid day, but just stands there and looks at me like she's got x-ray vision and is trying to see inside me to see if there's a fetus there. Rather than asking me, she asked Larry, with the excuse that I don't like her. Genius! Things like this are EXACTLY WHY I DON'T LIKE YOU. Don't go behind my back to say stuff and get information on me...go straight to the source, or just keep your stupid mouth shut.

3. This question came as a two-part question, the latter part of which I've left off until now. This part was "I didn't think you wanted any more kids." OOOOOK. I'm still trying to figure out how she can even pretend to know WHAT he wants? I told Larry he should've told her that he also didn't plan on getting married again either, but things change. I'm telling you this right now straight from the horse's mouth. YES, we want more kids, and YES, we're having another baby when we get married and more financially settled.

Stupid, stupid people. So, the conclusion I've drawn is this. She's friends with one of Larry's ex-girlfriends, so that has to be where it's all coming from. And this is my theory of what's in their heads. I've gained weight, and it's all in my belly/butt/thigh area, so I could pass for pregnant. BUT I'M NOT. Here's the theory: He didn't want kids, and he didn't want to get married, so what I MUST'VE DONE was get pregnant to trap him and make him marry me. Why do I think this? Because that's the way these people think. Stupid, stupid people. Maybe, just MAYBE we're getting married because WE WANT TO, and because we're in love. Imagine that concept.

So here's my statement to that elite group of Richwooders who are SOOO concerned with my life (by the way, where are your kids? They were out in the freaking ROAD last time I checked). I'm NOT pregnant...yet. YES, we want more kids, YES, we're having more kids, and when that happens, I'll make sure y'all are the first to know. I'll put a freaking full-page ad in the Chronicle just to please you.

Oh, and by the way, you're all invited to my wedding. Bring gifts.