alone in this old house again...

So here I sit, up all by myself in my sister's house. I haven't spent the night in this house since last August, which is the last time I spent the night away from Larry. Those of you who know the situation know the whole Chaney drama, which for now is on the back burner, as all parties have agreed to let her finish the school year here before making any sort of decision, so she's staying with my sister. Which is why I'm here. Larry had drill this weekend, so he couldn't come up. Chaney had majorette practice this evening, then some plans afterward, which were going to keep her out until between 7 and 8. For me then, the logical thing would have been to just wait and come up tomorrow morning and spend the day with her. But no. She whined and pouted and was all sad and depressed until I agreed to go ahead and come up tonight, to make her happy. "I stay up until 3 in the morning anyway," she told me. Well, no matter then. We'd still have plenty of time to spend together. Well, I get here between 8:30 and 9:00 tonight. We watch a movie, she plays with her Bratz dolls...AND THEN SHE GOES TO BED!!! AT 11:00!!!! What was the point of me coming up here tonight?!?! Didn't I say that??? Wasn't that my argument??? So here I sit, while everyone else sleeps, wondering...why?!?! She needs to be down there with me. Then we wouldn't have this problem. But, Chaney's 12 now. It is what it is. And whatever it's gonna be.

And Larry informed me recently that as long as Chaney lives with Lynn, he refuses to have any more kids. Knowing how badly I wanted a baby, this upset me. Initially. But then I realized that while I would LOVE to have a baby, or a couple of babies, I like the age our kids are at now. Chaney's 12; she does her own thing. She gets up by herself, dresses herself, feeds herself, bathes herself, stays home by herself after school...pretty self-sufficient. Bailey turns 7 today (HAPPY BIRTHDAY BAY-BAY!!) and while he's 5 years younger, he's pretty independent too. He does most of the things for himself that Chaney does for herself. And as the kids get older, traveling is certainly easier. No packing car seats and diaper bags and all that crap. My main thought regarding his...announcement, if you will, is this: MORE SLEEP FOR ME. Yeah. I like the sound of that. I've always wondered if the reason Chaney happened when she did is because I'm not meant to have any more. Maybe I'm not. Maybe I'm ok with that. I guess we'll see.